I feel a little lost with this. Funny --it's been hard to work on it. Well, pull myself up by the bootstraps, darlin. Get out that self discipline! I get kind of overwhelmed with the final cut, the narrative, keeping track of it all. Stop thinking. I think the narrative is tripping me up. I should just work with the footage I have. Voila.

Saturday, I want to log the Orange footage. It's been good to work on that one.

Saturday, I also hope to edit the bank film. Ben will you help me render the bank stationery? Just cobble together what I have. Dont worry about the meta narrative. okay? Whew. And one more thing: meditate first.

What might I do anyway? I keep wanting to be dazzling and get all stuck in the disparities between my desire (oh, auteur!), my vision, my skills, my footage. I would like to have a rough rough cut before Goddard, if possible.

Should I try to send Bernard the rough cut on Saturday?

I know, i was getting all perfectionist about the transitions between clips. I internalize Ben doing it better. He is more patient. I guess I need to meditate a lot. I think he wants me to need him to edit this...it gets all mind warped in my head. Sorry bb! I know it's mine, but i still struggle with it.

Ben is talking with me.